I'm tired.
Don't give up, they say. But what if you don't have the strength to keep going anymore? What if you've genuinely tried your best every possible way you know how and somehow, things just keep getting worse?
You've prayed…You've cried…You've fought…You've endured.
You've even done things you never imagined you'd do, just to stay sane. Not because you wanted to, but because you were desperately trying to survive another day.
Yet nothing changes.
You keep lifting, but eventually you realize you can't lift anymore. You keep fighting, but somehow you still lose. Life keeps throwing punches until you're backed into a wall. And when you finally reach that wall, hoping it will stop the pressure, you discover the wall is elastic. It stretches just enough for life to keep pushing you.
So you endure. You keep enduring until one day... you can't anymore.
You break down. You begin to wonder if disappearing would finally bring the peace you've been searching for.
During the day, though, no one sees any of this.
You're the cheerful one...the dependable one…the one who makes everyone laugh..the one people run to when life becomes heavy..the burden bearer…the safe place.
Everyone thinks you're okay because you've become an expert at hiding the sadness. You've mastered smiling through pain, laughing through exhaustion, and saying, "I'm fine," even when you're quietly falling apart.
But then night comes.
The conversations end….The laughter fades…The notifications stop…and then, the silence arrives.
You lie in bed, staring into the darkness, and suddenly every emotion you've spent the entire day suppressing comes rushing back. The tears you've been holding in finally win. You cry until there are no more tears left, yet somehow the ache remains.
You ask yourself questions no one else hears.
"How much longer can I keep doing this?"
"When does it get better?"
"Am I really as strong as everyone thinks I am?"
They say strength is surviving every day despite feeling like you're falling apart.
And maybe... just maybe... when you've reached the end of yourself, there is only one place left to go.
So I'll go to God…. because I don't know where else to go. I'll go to the One who stills storms with a word.
The One who sees the tears no one else notices.
The One who hears the prayers that never make it past my lips.
The One who understands the pain I struggle to explain.
Maybe He'll command peace over this chaos…Maybe He'll silence the storm within me…Maybe He'll remind me that even when I cannot see a way forward, He already has.
So tonight, I'll cry if I need to. I'll be honest with God.
I'll rest in whatever little hope I have left.
And perhaps tomorrow, I'll find enough strength for one more day.
It's 2:17 a.m. — Wednesday, July 2026.
Happy new month...I guess.
https://open.spotify.com/track/0Bn1DSXfisvfKjGUwI6rzW?si=ttnPKAeOSoaqQ4kXkmcBgg
https://open.spotify.com/track/0Bn1DSXfisvfKjGUwI6rzW?si=ttnPKAeOSoaqQ4kXkmcBgg
I'm not sure there's anything I, a mere stranger on the internet, can say to make you feel any better but I'd like you to say that I can relate. I have related, I am still relating, and as unfortunate as it sounds, as long as I'm alive, I might still continue to relate (but hopefully much less, I pray, lol). And truly, there's no better place to go than into the ever-open, ever-waiting arms of God. And I ask that may He comfort and always give you a reason to keep pushing because I believe that as long as we don't give up, we've won over life and have showed it that no matter what it throws our way, we might crash out, cry, break down, but we'll always emerge stronger and better than before—bruised and scarred maybe but definitely stronger. And I believe that'll be the case for you as well and everyone else who's in the same shoes as us and may come across this.
And happy new month to you, darling. May this other half of the year favour you and may it be softer and gentler to you 💞✨.
I hope you finally find strength to keep going and not just to survive the motion but to live in it, I hope you find peace in Christ that he will restore into you the joy of your salvation, I hope the pushing finally stop.
To be tired is to be drained, it's heavy eye bags which foundation covers, to be us taking it one day at a time just like they say, while you wonder if you will make it to the next, it's a terrible place to be, I hope you finally find rest.
Happy new month, I guess.